• The Safety Ruse

“The Safety Ruse”
Dec. 13, 2006, with a mere handful of Washington citizens in attendance, the Washington City Council voted unanimously to amend Title V of the Code of Washington regarding certificates of occupancy and inspections.

The passage of this seemingly innocuous ordinance will touch every person in Washington who plans to buy, sell or rent their homes after April Fools’ Day, 2007. The council had made attempts since 2002 to have this change ramrodded through the committee, but was always met with substantial community resistance. But without the friction of public dissent, the city council finally managed to pass their pet project.

This law will require a city inspector (for the sum of $75) to come to your residence and proclaim it “safe” for habitation. (The fine print: “The city is not liable for any deficiencies or defects on the premises. It is not a substitute for the inspections performed by private inspection agencies and is not a guarantee or warranty regarding the present or future condition of the house.”) In short, the inspections have no intrinsic value other than a very big hammer being held over our collective heads, demanding compliance or else.

And if you are not in compliance, guess what, you can forget about selling your home or renting it out to Aunt Annie. But not to worry, because waiting to help you out in your time of need, is the infamous Washington-licensed contractor. I guess it’s a great deal if you are a plumber or electrician, collecting new fat fees as desperate owners scurry to get their “safety” problems addressed — at $50 per hour, plus the standard $75 call-out fee and 300 percent markups on parts. What a country.

If you haven’t sold your home in 120 days, call up the boys at city hall and schedule yourself another inspection — it’s only good for 120 days. Cha ching, $75 more dollars in the treasury.

Think you can ignore the new law? Try it. The city council was almost giddy in their newfound “teeth” with penalties of $500 and or 90 days in the pokey for noncompliance. (Read the minutes, on their Web site.)

You may be asking, “Why do we need such an intrusion into our lives?” Well, dummy, it’s for our own safety. Funny thing is, when I asked my representative, “Are we having a problem with people not being safe in Washington homes?” I was given a vacuous response about our great city insurance rates. Well, Mr. Councilman, if our city insurance rates are already so great, why do we need such a new ordinance — to make the rates greater than great? More long pauses, followed as foundering birth was being given even more supercilious explanations.

So, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, a new intrusion by government into our lives that promises to make you safer than safe and government even bigger than big. Our great American government doing what it does best — fixing what isn’t broken, while simultaneously raising your taxes (it is a tax). But don’t fear because the city of Washington can now hire even more employees to complete these new safety inspections that we apparently (and luckily) did without for some 120 years.

Personally, I would like to see them spending our money on the more mundane — such as plowing the snow off of our streets, keeping drunks off of the roads or cell phone bandits from running red lights and taking out entire families . . . you know, the kinda things that really affect our safety.

I will leave you with the immortal words of Will Rogers, “Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.”

Guy W. Midkiff


Published in: on January 15, 2008 at 10:09 pm  Leave a Comment  

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://guymidkiff.wordpress.com/2008/01/15/%e2%80%a2-the-safety-ruse/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: